WE do not choose our friends.
They choose us.
What is a friend?
What makes a friend?
Why are you chosen to be a friend?
Different kinds of friend? Real and virtual?
Am I a good friend?
I really want to be a fab friend.
I want to be that one person to make someone’s day.
I always want to be there when I know that is impossible.
I want to be something special in someone’s life and not mess (f**k) it up.
I want our friendship to mean something. Sounds superficial, but if you really have got under my skin, you will understand.
I will shed the skin of the cocoon and emerge as the butterfly, bright, vivacious and sORRing high.
Last night I hooked up with an old school friend, Bradley.
We have known each other since we were 4 years old.
And, oh, WHAT a night!!!
When we left school at 18 we all seemed to go our different ways. University, college, jobs etc…
20 years after leaving school Bradley added me as a friend on Facebook. The phone rang on THAT NIGHT and we picked up a conversation as though it were the day we left school. Quite amazing. We started at 9pm and I put the phone down well after 2am.
We’d arranged to go out when he next came up north to visit his parents. This would be the first time we had seen each other in 20 years. Quite a scary moment. The night out turned in to attending an engagement party. We danced like no one was watching.
At 4am we finally kicked off our dancing shoes!!! A fabulous night out.
We live over 300 miles apart so seeing each other is not often. However, when the phone rings we pick up the conversation as though it were only the day before.
This was an incredible turning point in our relationship.
It became so very strong. We knew how much our friendship meant to each other. How much we relied on each other. How much we loved each other as fab friends do.
This was the real start of our amazing friendship. One that cannot be broken by anyone at all because we know ourselves so well.
Whenever I can, I nip down south to visit and spend a week in London. We often catch up with a show. It was Bradley who introduced me to the stage show of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. I have the pink feather boa to prove it!!! One of the best scenes is on top of the bus when the diva sings Sempre Libera from La Traviata. Apt!
When I moved home last August, Bradley sent me the most amazing card. Those who read my blog and tweets will know how important it is being part of the card revolution.
You couldn’t really get mORR personal!
Tonight we caught up with each other over dinner.
It amuses me when people say they have hundreds of friends on Facebook etc… and yet for me, the test of true friendship is simply being there when needed, picking up where you left off, non-judgemental and true.
We share conversations with each other we know we could never have with anyone else. They can be the good, the bad and the ugly. We know we can say anything and open our hearts and empty our brains.
I know I can let my guard down and shed my skin so that by the time we have exhORRsted our chat the butterfly emerges from the cocoon.
Bradley is totally real. We have shed tears, drunk wine, shared many personal accounts etc… We are at one with other.
We have this ability with each other to pick up where we left off, no matter how much time has elapsed.
We are truly at ease with each other. We know we can pick up the phone at any point and simply be. This friendship is something special.
It’s lasted over 40 years.
The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
A relationship between friends.
amity – fellowship – companionship – comradeship
Our friendship is so much mORR than this.
Bradley is the real, live, living and breathing friend. I can hold him in mORR than my heart.
AND THEN……. You have the other types of friend which cannot be discounted.
These friends are mORR than acquaintances.
There are those who are friends simply because we have known each other a long time. Perhaps we went to school together, worked together, send Christmas cards once a year, wish each other happy birthday etc… We may not be gushy with each other but we acknowledge there is a friendship as opposed to simply being acquaintances.
What about friends in the ‘virtual world’?
I suppose we probably have many so-called twitter friends all over the world. We share experiences and opportunities and make connections. We may even let them in on our private an inner most thoughts as we feel they are just a voice.
Twitter (my male muse – although @kevbartle will disagree on this and to him twitter is a she) is full of many walks of life. There will be hundreds of people I have not met, do not know and will never ever know. The same is not true for Facebook. I profess only to have those added as friends whom I have met and they tend to be friends from school and family life. Very separate from my working professional world.
However, there are one or two very special twitter friends who have tweeted into my life, dug a bit mORR to find out how I tick, wanted to know mORR, engaged in conversation and pop up on a daily basis.
There’s the friend who wants to check on you, make sure you are ok; you know that perhaps they want a bit mORR of you than just a friend but know it’s not possible, but they would never leave you out on a limb.
I have a twitter friend who does check upon me at the start of the day whilst driving to school. It’s a hands free moment when they make you feel special because you are thought about first thing in the mORRning.
Then, finally, but certainly not the least, there is the guardian angel friendship. Sometimes this friendship can feel so intangible. Sounds rather tautological to express it in such a fashion.
The guardian angel friend goes deep. They are in on my inner most thoughts. My guard is truly down. Quite apt to be the first syllable in guardian. I no longer need to keep my guard up because it is within the hands of this angel. They can second guess what I am thinking. They know just when to ask the burning question. They know when I am not myself.
This friendship is quite different and very powerful. Perhaps this is the friendship where I want it to be mORR but know that’s impossible.
Everyone needs a guardian angel friendship. I love mine. It is there just when I need it to be. It is special. It is unique. I’d like to think it is truly one that is unconditional.
Friendships built upon love, trust, passion are keepers. These friendships allow me to be me. I am what I am.